Thursday, 14 June 2018

Meditation Meme

Meditate opElevate

I recently ran across this meme online. Though I'm generally sceptical of magical claims – meditation definitely helps with stress-related medical conditions, and also with mental and emotional issues, but whether it "increases creativity" or "increases immunity" invites further research – you can't argue with the rest.

I'm also a little leery of that imperative: MEDITATE (you unenlightened bastard). I might like it better with an exclamation point: MEDITATE! sounds more like "let's meditate!" and less like "didn't Ah tell yew to meditate, boot??? GIMME FIFTY!!"

But were it I, I'd just go nominal: MEDITATION. Because, like the advert says, there's no need for gurus.

But it's still an effective notice. Short and to the point. Undemanding. (Except for the implied call to obedience.) So I'm sharing it, so you can share it as well.

Because the fact is, meditation is simple. I'm astonished by those who tell me they'd like to meditate... eventually. Not now. Someday when conditions are right. When they have time to learn.

Well, if that's you, I got good news.

(Hang on, I have to pull on a colourful sweater... OK.)

You can meditate! Right here, right now!

"But Rob!" you say. "How can I meditate, right here, right now??"

Just follow our patented Three Easy Steps®:

1. Do not move. Do not change your clothes or put on New Age music or light incense or buy an expensive bell. Do not memorise a chant. Do not prepare a macrobiotic vegetarian meal. Do not shave your head.

2. Do not do anything but read the short instructions above, under "Simple Meditation". (For the record, that's redundant. At the risk of chapping practitioners of other religions, if you're doing anything other than that, you're not meditating. NTTAWWT.)

3. Now do those instructions, in order. I assume you're already sitting. If not, just skip that one.

When you get to the end of the list, you've meditated. Congratulations, you're Gautama Buddha.

You can stop there, or keep going until you feel like stopping. If you need a reminder of the rules as you continue, reread "Simple Mediation".

That's it. That's what you've been waiting for.

Bit anticlimactic, maybe.

But for some – me, for instance – a revelation.

(Meme courtesy of Bryan Helfrich and Wikimedia Commons.)
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