Hermitcraft: Busting Dysentery

Oxalis

While on ango last summer, I got a visit from the Dysentery Fairy. I still haven't determined precisely what sort it was; we have a lot of Giardia around here, but it would be a true hail-mary for that to get into a rain barrel. On the other hand, if it was a bacterial infection, the symptoms were pretty giardesque. I'm not even certain it came from my drinking water; hygiene is a constant battle in the outback, where you're surrounded by faeces and wild water.

Anyway, I suffered an anxious week or two, dodging into the dark forest at 0300 and fearing the thing would drive me off the mountain. In the end I kicked its butt, thanks to the support of friends and family and, I believe, the tea I'm passing on in this post.

It's terrifying to find yourself sick and alone; once it's happened (and this wasn't the first time for me), you'll never trivialise someone else's misfortune. In this case, I spent about a day trying to hide from it.

Then I got mad. Fact is, a lifetime of relevant experience prepared me to confront this problem. Hell, I wrote a freakin' book on wild herbs, for Christ's sake!

I decided that if I was going to be forced off the mountain, I was really going to be forced. Surrender would only become an option when every last gun had been fired.

And I had several. To begin with, the Acres, where I lived, was busting with herbs in their best season. And my cache contained other possibles. So I got off my backside and raked together a tea calculated to firm things up and rain displeasure on my uninvited guests.

I put myself on a regimen of 3 rice bowls (twice the size of tea bowls) of this per day; most days I drank more. I gulped down each, then sucked, chewed, and spit out the leaves.

The tea itself actually tasted OK, but the cud-chewing was abominable. Still, I got better. Quickly.

Hemlock

The Recipe

Put a double measure of strong green tea leaves in the bottom of a rice bowl.

Add:

oxalis and/or sheep sorrel
New Douglas fir tips (see note below)
Blackberry rhizome
Blackberry leaf

Chop all ingredients well; I used a pair of scissors.

Fill the bowl with boiling water, cover, and steep for fifteen minutes, minimum.

Drink and enjoy.

The green tea provides tannins, which tighten up your bowels, and is acidic, which gut-bugs hate. Blackberry leaves bring more tannin, are scientifically proven to fight dysentery, and taste alright; the rhizomes bring nuclear amounts of tannin and taste unspeakably awful when chewed, but as an ingredient in a diverse tea mix like this one, are palatable. Tart components (oxalis or sorrel; cider vinegar or lemon if you've got it) contribute more acid while tasting good, which encourages you to drink more. Young Douglas fir needles are pleasant too, though the older ones are quite strong, and are effective against diarrhœa. Other conifers will also work if you don't have Pseudotsuga; I've used spruce and hemlock to good effect. Finally, I also just plain ate oxalis and Douglas fir, often, during those days.

Later, a friend and fellow hermit came out to check on me, and he suggested I add Prunella to my dose. Did it help? It didn't hurt. It's dreadful stuff all the same, but once again the oxalis and Douglas fir got it past my tongue. Similarly, I held willow in reserve, should tougher measures be necessary. Willow bark is the origin of aspirin and an excellent medicinal, as well as highly acidic. It's also the most God-awful revolting bile on the planet; like chewing an aspirin tablet. (Bit of a toss-up between this and blackberry rhizome.)

Fortunately, I never needed it that summer.

This concoction put a decisive end to the pyrotechnic dumps and secured me those all-important restful nights. Of course, it wasn't the only measure I took; I also went in for draconian hygiene, fastidious handling of water, mindful hydration habits, and careful monitoring of the quality and quantity of everything that came out of me. I also imposed a few dietary adjustments: chiefly, a well-curried bowl, boiled up with bullion (for the salt), and served with a sadistic squirt of sriracha. Intestinal microbes trend to Caucasian tastes, so I made sure things got nice and "ethnic" on the old beaver fever.

Whatever the reason, and whatever it was in the first place, the disease eventually pulled up stakes and left. (You might say, it just didn't have the guts.) Whether I beat it, or it just wasn't that scary to begin with, I'll never know. But the tea worked. One day I had dramatic digestion; then I drank the tea, and it was significantly gone the next. Then about a week later I stopped drinking it (thinking I was "cured"; yes, I knew well better than to do this) and the trouble came right back. So I drank the tea again, and it went away again.

Therefore I offer the recipe, in loving support of anyone else who might also fall into that pit. Brother, sister: drop this on your trouble.

And smile while you drink it.

For if you listen closely, you can hear the little bastards scream.



(Adapted from 100 Days on the Mountain,copyright RK Henderson.)