Who Are You Trying To Be?

Last year I linked to an excellent Jason Pargin article called 7 Reasons Americans Have Stopped Trusting One Another. (He writes under the pseudonym David Wong on Cracked.com.) I was commenting on a compelling point he makes there, to wit, what "putting yourself in someone else's shoes" implies.

But that's not the only Zen the article contains; another favourite moment relates to the 8 Worldly Dharmas, on which I posted this past August.

In Jason's words, human behaviour is ultimately directed by two desires:

1) The person you desperately want to be.

2) The person you desperately want to avoid becoming.

So that's 8WD all over again. It's also conventional Buddhism à la Thich Nhat Hanh, who emphasises the notion of mental "seeds", or impulses that arise in the mind and either get "watered" (i.e., indulged or praised) or "not watered" (left to languish).

Thich Nhat Hanh suggests we be mindful of these seeds – which exist unremarked in our minds till they sprout as actions, or even habits – and make conscious decisions to water or not water them.

And that's highly effective practice. However, I think Jason's insight – that those seeds come from somewhere too, and knowing where is important – is a necessary second level.

That thing you want – what do you think you'll accomplish with it?

That button that gets pushed – what is that wired to?

That insult that enrages you – why do you care?

That compliment you received – why does that please you? (And how about that other compliment, that leaves you unmoved – or even discomfits you. What's up with that?)

Those positive feelings that arise in a given event – what do you imagine you've accomplished?

That thing you do in a given situation - what are you trying to become, or not become, when you do that?


In Jason's terms, when you feel seeds begin to swell, you should ask yourself, "What do I want to be that's manipulating me to do/say/be this thing?", or "What do I not want to be that's manipulating me to do/say/be this thing?"

I like Jason's perspective, because it goes to the bedrock of delusion. Creating ourselves in this ephemeral world is a lot of what we do here.

If we can give that up – or at least leash it – we stand a chance of getting off this carousel.

(Photo courtesy of Unsplash.com and a generous photographer.)