WW: Sunset over Capitol Lake

(Click on the picture to see it bigger. More on the alleged "lake" here.)

Rock Groups 2013

I have a particular talent for naming rock groups. I can't explain it. It's nothing I studied for or earned in any way. It's just in me. I also can't profit from it, because there's no such thing as a Rock Group Name Consultant. But I keep a list of the best ones that occur to me. Proof of their quality is that I'll often Google one after a few months or years, and someone has taken it. I don't insist they pay me for jumping my trademark, but let the record show that I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST! Because I totally did.

Anyway, here's a list of my best œuvres to date. A few include serving suggestions, as to what sort of group might best benefit. You'll note as well that some are already marked "taken"; by the time you read this, a few more may have been claimed as well.

GROUPS ALKI:

Iceweasel (Norwegian Cookie Monster metal group; since taken by a Web browser [?!?] )

The Staff Infection (group made up of adult employees at a given high school)

Porkfish

Arkwelder (Christian metal)

ə (pronounced "schwa")

Röktöpüss (teeny-bopper metal)

Hollow Dogs

Tragically Delicious

Torque

Wahala (since taken)

Backslash

SkinnyPig (emphasis on the first word, like "guinea pig")

Wrench (industrial metal)

Least Heat Moon (folk rock or country rock)

2Can (boy band duo)

Moon Beaver

Destructive Duck

Lumpy Lemon (Phish-like jam band)

8-Trak (old school rap)

Quemarropa (Latin roots rock)

The Kennewick Men

Steelhead (North Coast metal band)

Cavity Search (punk band)

Motherboard

Full Metal Handkerchief

Giraffes Are Delicious (New Wave [which is probably Historical Wave by now] )

Iron Dachshünd (metal parody)

Hence the Problem

The Oil Slick Penguins

Aquatic Sloth (electronica)

The Lost Cosmonauts

Red Franz and the Bog People

Small Metal Stonehenge

New Pence (Mersey Renaissance group)

Uffington Horse (since taken)

Eclectic Eel (as well)

The Underground Tree House (ditto)

Kensington Stone (and again [this would also a great name for a James Bond-style spy] .)

Chewy Louie

The Space Monkey Mafia

Believable Pie

Raw As Recoil

The Screaming Mimis (grrl group)

College Town

Inox (rap group)

Rebar (alt country; front man: Red Diesel)

RSJ (since taken)

I-Beam (metal group)

The Picts

Waterhorse (Scottish folk rock)

Salmonella (Goth girl group)

Lungfish

Hate Cave

Whimsical Physics (smooth jazz)

Onerous O (rapper)

Pipehorse

Rolodex (small, hot swing ensemble)

The Chocolate Skulls

The Satanic Tribbles

If you have a group and you want one of these, be my guest. ("Zero Fee, No Rights Reserved".) Don't see anything you like? I got others. Contact me directly for a custom product, at a mere 15% surcharge. Either way, when someone asks you where you got your name, you can say you were so baptised by a Zen hermit monk. Tell me that isn't an awesome hook.

(Photo courtesy of Brooke Novak and Wikimedia Commons.)

WW: Fossil imprint

(This is the imprint of an ancient scallop shell, pressed flat underground over several million years. This summer it was stripped out by the action of sea, and the peat it rested in was thrown up on the beach. Enjoy it while it lasts; the medium is soft and friable, and will soon dry into a tiny heap of anonymous dirt. As will we all, one day.)

WW: Brand-new Western Tiger Swallowtail

(Papilio rutulus; newly emerged and drying its wings right above the freeway, on the sidewalk across the Capitol Way overpass.)

WW: Stargazers

The Father's Song

Dick Gaughan is like the voice of his entire people. Not merely its inflection; also its spirit, its passion, and its vision. As Scots debate (endlessly) the question of their national anthem, I'd like to propose a novel solution: anything sung by Dick Gaughan. At football matches, they can just drop the needle. Wherever it lands, that's the anthem of the day.

By way of Exhibit A, I offer, on this, the cusp of Father's Day, Dick's rendition of Ewan MacColl's The Father's Song. A collaboration across time of two powerful Scots artists, it encapsulates in unflinching terms a father's duty by his son. (And these days, by his daughter as well.) To wit, to protect and comfort; to inculcate a sense of justice, and of outrage in its absence; to reject all powers that would demean and diminish.

No sugar coating here. And no lies. Just "Here's your inheritance. You and me'll face it together."

THE FATHER'S SONG
performed by Dick Gaughan
written by Ewan MacColl

That's another day gone by, son, close your eyes
Now the moon is chasing clouds across the skies
Go to sleep and have no fear, son
For your mam and dad are near, son
And the giant is just a shadow on the wall
Go to sleep and when you wake it will be light
There's no need to fear the darkness of the night
It's not like the dark you find, son
In the depths of some men's minds, son
That defies the daily coming of the dawn
Lie easy in your bed and grow up strong
You'll be needing all your strength before too long
For you'll soon be on your way, son
Fighting battles every day, son
With an enemy who thinks he owns the world
Stop your crying now, let daddy dry your tears
There's no bogeyman to get you, never fear
There's no ogres, wicked witches
Only greedy sons-of-bitches
Who are waiting to exploit your life away
Don't you let 'em buy you out or break your pride
Don't you let yourself be used then cast aside
If you listen to their lying
They will con you into dying
You won't even know that you were once alive
No more talking now it's time to go to sleep
There are answers to your questions but they'll keep
Go on asking while you grow, son
Go on asking till you know, son
And then send the answers ringing through the world

WW: Squid eggs

(Probably Loligo opalescens.)